over it.

someone in our family, including me, has been sick since before Christmas. this is not counting the flu and strep i had before my race. i usually get sick REALLY BAD (like two or three things at once ex.flu/strep/pink eye) once a year. brian usually gets something once a year. our kids RARELY ever get sick...like maybe one sick kid a year. it's always been that way. and they went to preschool and cailey went to kindergarten so they were exposed to plenty (as was i since i was teaching).

today i've hit my breaking point. i had the junk in dec and then the last couple weeks (off and on) had the stomach virus. pretty much been down for at least two days at a time every week. it's REALLY hard to do life when you aren't feeling well but i've still somehow at least done school. i felt SUPER guilty last week for missing yet another AWANA because i had already missed one in Dec for being sick. but am thankful i stayed home because that was the beginning of the stomach bug.

monday morning i couldn't breathe out of my nose and started feeling like 'something' was coming on. i still ran because i HAVE to right now. big mistake. not only was it terrible but my throat hurt from the rest of the day...i guess from breathing in cold air. i was TRYING to live life and pretend it was going to be gone the next day. i took tuesday off from running and thought that would take care of it. that night i was FREEZING and shaking like crazy. we have no working thermometer because the ones we buy always end up breaking from little hands and we rarely get sick...so why buy another! i woke up FINE on wednesday. actually felt better and ran 5 miles. once again it was terribly slow and my legs felt like lead but i just thought it was a bad run. i felt fine as the day went on.

when i was cooking dinner i started aching. and freezing. i just could NOT get warm. but it was WEDNESDAY and i just couldn't be sick again! i refused to not go to awana and then have cailey come home saying how crazy it was because we were down a leader. AND it was braden's big night...and i had to be there for him. just couldn't miss it! (he was reciting Genesis chapters 1-3 in front of everyone, but i'll save that for another post).

i went to awana and froze my three long sleeve layer body off...oh, and this was on a 60 degree day. i was so achy and sore and in the end during award time just went to sit in the hall begging time to pass so i could go home. it was bad. i was still in MAJOR denial and planned things for today...and am STILL hoping that we'll make it to our co op, play date, and girls night out tomorrow.

when we got home i put so many layers on and went to bed. we're talking flannel pj's, thick jersey sheets, quilt, down comforter and my THICK robe from restoration hardware. i was still shivering. after i turned off the light and went to bed i heard a voice coming from somewhere in the room saying, "mommy?" it was my sweet cailey girl. she had made herself a pallet on the floor because she was so worried about me and really wanted to sleep in my room. i don't usually (and didn't want her to get sick)...but i finally gave in. i fell asleep answering questions and having the best COLD ACHY sleepover ever...me in a ridiculously warm bed and her on her pallet...with Kit.

i woke up in the middle of the night drenched. as in...completely soaked and had to change. thankfully i was able to fall right back to sleep because i've also been having problems with insomnia lately.

woke up this morning knowing that our afternoon playdate and dinner guests would not be coming. felt awful. then found out my kinsey girl who normally has a very brown face had bright RED cheeks and had a tummy ache. she didn't even want to eat but we finally got her to take medicine. she was so sad:(. i was SO sad for her.

i ALWAYS do school no matter what. so after kinsey was resting comfortably with a video we went in to at least do math, spelling, and english. after five minutes of sitting upright in a chair my school day was over. my head was in so much pain and medicine wasn't helping. i am still hoping to get it done at some point today...but it may not happen. once i declared that we weren't doing it they got on with their independent work then went to 'take care' of the little ones.

when i say take care...i mean take care. i couldn't get out of bed. not even to help kinsey. i mean, i got her a bowl...but any extended standing time was beyond painful (which right now as i type this and my third fever has broken seems terrible and impossible that i was too sick to sit with kisney) but it's true...just couldn't do it.

cailey and braden STEPPED up. i mean...they were never asked to BUT they did it with a happy heart and just loved on kinsey and ephram. i went downstairs at one point and saw ephram was creatively blocked off so he couldn't leave the family room and bother kinsey. there were stools, chairs, bean bags, and boxes used as a blockade. on the other side of the boxes braden was reading and playing with e. cailey fed ephram his lunch. cailey got kinsey ginger ale and crackers. the others got their own lunches. they both made kinsey laugh. they were awesome. around 1:00 i got even worse and had more blankets on me than ever, thanks to cailey. i tried to sleep and didn't wake up until 2:15. everything was quiet. cailey somehow put ephram and kinsey down for their naps...by herself....unprompted. i went in to check on e and he had a poopy diaper so i got him up to change him and he went right back down. (the only thing cailey doesn't do is diapers.) i checked on kinsey and she was asleep. i went downstairs and found cailey and braden playing quietly. these kids are AMAZING!!

ephram 'trapped' in the family room

finally the fever came back yet again and my head was hurting SO BAD in the upright position that i called brian to come work from home in case someone needed something and so i could go to urgent care whenever i warmed up. i felt terrible that my 8 and 6 year olds were running the house but literally couldn't get up and do a thing about it. i'm writing all this so they can remember how awesome and selfless they were.

kinsey woke up happy from her nap and was 'normal' all evening. thankfully brian was home when ephram woke up so he was able to play with him.

my urgent care visit was inconclusive but i came home with a script for an antibiotic (though he thinks i may also have the flu). the two oldest enjoyed playing outside during and after naptime...i felt very happy that they could just be KIDS for some of the day. brian did do math and english with them this evening so that is one thing i don't need to worry about.

i've finally accepted (thanks to a couple friends) that i shouldn't go to co op tomorrow...or have our playdate:(. cailey is SUPER bummed but i'm hoping she'll be ok about it tomorrow. the doctor said it could take up to a week a WHOLE week for me to feel normal again. because my immune system is low at this point (hello super sick three times in a month) he recommended trying to stay home as much as possible so i don't pick up yet another thing.

brian stayed home sick with the stomach thing last friday. he said earlier he's started to 'not feel right' which were my words on monday and then again on wednesday evening. PLEASE PRAY that NO ONE else in our family will get sick and that brian won't get this!! we have got to get well! i am sick of being sick!

things i've learned:
*you can feel hot AND cold at the same time
*even if you wear gloves and socks under the covers it won't help
*my kids rock
*kids recover WAY faster than grownups
*running has NOT helped my immune system
*my kids are awesome
*do as much as you can while you're sweating after a fever breaks because soon you'll be freezing again
* i have some awesome friends who call just to see how i'm doing
* we need to buy another thermometer
* i am way too type A to let brian do math with the kids often
* you can't use ecb's on drugs
* when you are really sick you don't care about going out in public looking nasty (i actually learned this when i was in labor with cailey)
* i am SICK OF BEING SICK

but it could be WAY worse. i know that. these days make me appreciate everything so much more. everyday things like having heat, blankets, ice, fans, air conditioning, and indoor plumbing. whenever i'm sick i'm always led to pray for people who are sick in countries where they DON'T have these things. i'm led to pray for people who may NOT get better.

i'll end with...my kids really stepped up and we are SO proud of them AND please pray for healing. and the shivers and shakes are back so i'm getting off here.