checking in
my running buddy:)
trying things on at the expo and getting matching
shirts:) kelly liked this one that we have on...it says,
"13.1 we don't go all the way":)
the kiddos got so many free samples, bags,
and 'stuff' at the expo!
course so i could get an idea of what it would be like.
we were trying to find the starting line and couldn't because
it wasn't marked well. we saw this man and asked if he knew
and he ended up interviewing ME about the race/traffic
(and yes... about 5 sec of my 2 min interview was on the 11:00 news)
i was totally embarrassed but cailey LOVED it!
we were so blessed to stay with brandon's parents and ate a HUGE dinner prepared by his mom. the kids played, set off fireworks, watched movies, and ate yummy food before kelly and i crashed at 9:00. we got all ready the night before so we could just get up and go to the race. the neatest thing for me was having their family pray over us...very special!
my waiting cheerleaders
mile 9...
i LOVE these pictures...my girls are ALWAYS looking for a way to serve and were warmly welcomed when they offered to help pour/distribute water to the runners while waiting to see me again.
My first half marathon didn't go as planned.
Three weeks ago (after an early 6 mile run with Beth) I told her that I finally LOVED running again. I debated doing a blog post back then but something stopped me. But it was there...that love of running was back. I looked forward to runs and was never out of breath or dying after 8 mile (and under) runs.
That next Saturday I was looking forward to doing my last 12 before the race, knowing it was all down hill from there. I woke up sick. I had ended up having strep and the flu but didn't know it, so I went out and attempted my 12 mile run anyway. I was sweating from the start (it was 40 and everyone else was freezing) and my throat felt stuffy but otherwise was fine. I was fine until mile 9 and then things went down hill. Beth said I didn't look good and kept asking if I was ok. I was so bad off that I couldn't even walk back...couldn't move. I went from running 9 miles to feeling like I was 90! The next morning I went to Urgent Care and figured out why my run was so bad. The strep didn't go away with the first antibiotics so I had to take stronger ones. The achy-ness went away after a few days but I was told not to run until my throat no longer hurt. I didn't run for a week...so I missed my last 10 mile run and all the ones in between.
My goal before I got sick was to run and hopefully finish around 2:20. My goal after I got sick was to finish without walking around 2:30.
The last week before the race I ran two 5's and a 3...and felt great. I carbed up all week (on healthy carbs). I had given up sugar (except for my girl weekend) and dairy (the whole time) because of stomach cramps back in August and was dedicated to this race. I was SUPER nervous about it after missing my last runs and being sick...but wanted to do it. Other than that week I missed NO runs. I really wanted this!
I slept great the night before the race (was only up an hour) and the morning of I was looking forward to it. We were there early and ready for it to start. As soon as we started I had a cramp...but knew enough to just wait it out and eventually it would go away.
Mile 2 there was a hill over a bridge but it was fine (and Molly talked the whole time:)...and then we got to go downhill. Mile 3 we said goodbye to Molly and Deanna as they went off on their own...and turned our music on. Miles 4 and 5 passed pretty quickly and then came mile 6. I remember Kelly saying that we were almost 1/2 way. I was pretty sure at that point that my goal of 'finishing without walking' wasn't going to happen. I was hurting pretty bad, wasn't breathing well, and just knew.
Kelly and I had already decided that if one of us stopped that the other one should GO...and I knew I wanted her to leave if I had to walk. At mile 7 I popped a bean and was just willing myself to make it to mile 8 where I thought Brian would be with the kids. I was gonna stop then. I had to. I felt awful. I remember Kelly saying we were more than 1/2 way through...but in my head there was NO way I was gonna be able to finish. At 7.5 miles I walked and told Kelly to go. She tried everything to get me to come but I just couldn't...and told her to go.
Then I threw up..while walking fast...not fun. Then it happened two more times before I ended up seeing her family at mile 8. I was bummed my family wasn't there because I was ready to leave. In my head I decided I hated running, I would NEVER do this again, people who did this were crazy, and what was I thinking??? (Brian calls that crazy tired runner talk and doesn't listen to that:). I somehow managed to walk/run to mile 9 and FINALLY saw Brian and the kids. I.was.done. I immediately went to them and had an asthma attack (and for the first time in my life thought I was going to die because I could NOT breathe). I was FREEZING and white as a sheet (according to Brian). I got in the van, sat down, finally was able to breathe again, and Brian was ready to take me to the hospital.
I saw a TON of people running by and couldn't believe I was done! I just wanted to get in the van and drive home to Raleigh. I was so mad, sad, embarrassed, angry, etc. I had run 10, 11, 12 miles before with no problem and I pooped out at 7 miles?? What in the world! Brian kept reminding me that I didn't 'give up' but was sick and for some reason had heat exhaustion (even though it was cool and I had fluids). My family (and friends) always tell me I'm way too hard on myself...but I can't help thinking there was something I could have done differently...no matter how many times people keep saying I was sick.
Back up to the week leading up to this point. Antibiotics have a nasty side effect that apparently didn't help me keep fluids down. And the night before I spent an hour going to the bathroom...thanks to the antibiotics. HOWEVER, I naturally drink tons of water and was hoping that would keep me hydrated. Brian thinks this was part of why things went so badly for me.
I don't know what came over me or how I got out of the van but I somehow decided I was going to finish. I just kept looking at the kids sitting behind me in the van (through my tears) and couldn't get over the fact that I was quitting (no matter how many times Brian said I wasn't quitting but I was sick and needed medical attention.) I had four miles to go and Cailey said, "I'll walk with you mommy...please let me go with you" (which still makes me cry) and I was tempted to let her do it but she had on jeans and flip flops...plus I was hoping I would be able to run some and knew she had never done four miles. Brian didn't want me to do it because he was afraid I'd pass out somewhere.
I got out of the van and started running and said, "can't you meet me somewhere else in case I can't do it?" He couldn't because of roads being closed off. The second he drove away I turned and ran towards him hoping he'd turn around and see me...and come get me. I wanted to be done. I couldn't IMAGINE walking the last four miles. (Which thinking about now seems like no big deal but in the moment made me think I'd come in last or throw up more...or worse.)
The 9th mile was hard...but I somehow did it. None my "tricks" worked. (Run for one song or run for 4 minutes, or 1 minute, or to that sign, etc.) Nothing. I'd start running and just couldn't do it. I felt awful...legs hurt, stomach hurt, but most of all I just couldn't breathe. I wasn't trying to go too fast, I just think the humidity plus my asthma were just getting the best of me.
I was literally thinking about my blog post while 'running' aka ralking this mile. I was gonna call it rollerblading and 1/2 marathons. I went rollerblading with Laura in college and it was fun until we went down a hill. We both decided (that day) that it was fun once but we'd never do it again. That's what I thought about the 1/2 marathon. It wasn't fun...but I was never doing it again either. EVER. (Again with the tired crazy runner thoughts)
My music (and the people around me...and behind me) helped me get through miles 10 and 11. Somehow they seemed not so bad...but I continued to mostly walk with a little running thrown in. According to friends I'm pretty competitive, yet somehow seeing TONS of people run past me didn't help either! (Brian says it's because I was sick but somehow I still can't get that in my head.)
Mile 12 to 13.1 was awful. I saw Brian and the kids right around mile 12 and knew I was almost there. Then Molly and Deanna appeared and walked/ran with me a little before having to go. The last mile (even for Beth and Kelly) was CRAZY the way it was set up and I probably didn't even run a whole minute of it. I just couldn't. I was embarrassed and ashamed as I came up on the finish line. I don't know why. There were TONS of people who finished after me...but I think it's because MY goal was to not walk. And I failed BIG time. (This is where Brian wants to knock me upside the head and REmind me that there was CLEARLY nothing I could have done differently.) Everyone was waiting for me. They had to wait so long...but they were all waiting. I was just so glad it was done. Brian was beyond proud of me for finishing because he knew how bad off I was.
Kelly thought I had quit and didn't know if I was going to finish until she came in and saw Brian without me. Beth didn't know either...even when she saw me. I told them what happened and she said, "where's your medal...put it on!!" I still feel so undeserving... because I didn't make 'my' goal. I know that there were tons of people who finished after me...who did exactly what they set out to do. But for me..I just feel like I didn't do it. I would not and can not tell my family and friends that I ran a 1/2 marathon because in my mind I didn't.
Everyone was happy to see me and SO encouraging (even Katy who reminded me that I'm in 25% of the population by even finishing it). The kiddos kept saying how happy and proud they were. I told them I did it for them. I wanted them to see that no matter what you start you should finish it....even if you have to 'walk'. Brian keeps telling me how proud he is...and says he's gonna say it until I believe it.
Brandon's mom reminded me that God got me through...and boy did He! I prayed so much of the way for strength and endurance.
Three weeks ago (after an early 6 mile run with Beth) I told her that I finally LOVED running again. I debated doing a blog post back then but something stopped me. But it was there...that love of running was back. I looked forward to runs and was never out of breath or dying after 8 mile (and under) runs.
That next Saturday I was looking forward to doing my last 12 before the race, knowing it was all down hill from there. I woke up sick. I had ended up having strep and the flu but didn't know it, so I went out and attempted my 12 mile run anyway. I was sweating from the start (it was 40 and everyone else was freezing) and my throat felt stuffy but otherwise was fine. I was fine until mile 9 and then things went down hill. Beth said I didn't look good and kept asking if I was ok. I was so bad off that I couldn't even walk back...couldn't move. I went from running 9 miles to feeling like I was 90! The next morning I went to Urgent Care and figured out why my run was so bad. The strep didn't go away with the first antibiotics so I had to take stronger ones. The achy-ness went away after a few days but I was told not to run until my throat no longer hurt. I didn't run for a week...so I missed my last 10 mile run and all the ones in between.
My goal before I got sick was to run and hopefully finish around 2:20. My goal after I got sick was to finish without walking around 2:30.
The last week before the race I ran two 5's and a 3...and felt great. I carbed up all week (on healthy carbs). I had given up sugar (except for my girl weekend) and dairy (the whole time) because of stomach cramps back in August and was dedicated to this race. I was SUPER nervous about it after missing my last runs and being sick...but wanted to do it. Other than that week I missed NO runs. I really wanted this!
I slept great the night before the race (was only up an hour) and the morning of I was looking forward to it. We were there early and ready for it to start. As soon as we started I had a cramp...but knew enough to just wait it out and eventually it would go away.
Mile 2 there was a hill over a bridge but it was fine (and Molly talked the whole time:)...and then we got to go downhill. Mile 3 we said goodbye to Molly and Deanna as they went off on their own...and turned our music on. Miles 4 and 5 passed pretty quickly and then came mile 6. I remember Kelly saying that we were almost 1/2 way. I was pretty sure at that point that my goal of 'finishing without walking' wasn't going to happen. I was hurting pretty bad, wasn't breathing well, and just knew.
Kelly and I had already decided that if one of us stopped that the other one should GO...and I knew I wanted her to leave if I had to walk. At mile 7 I popped a bean and was just willing myself to make it to mile 8 where I thought Brian would be with the kids. I was gonna stop then. I had to. I felt awful. I remember Kelly saying we were more than 1/2 way through...but in my head there was NO way I was gonna be able to finish. At 7.5 miles I walked and told Kelly to go. She tried everything to get me to come but I just couldn't...and told her to go.
Then I threw up..while walking fast...not fun. Then it happened two more times before I ended up seeing her family at mile 8. I was bummed my family wasn't there because I was ready to leave. In my head I decided I hated running, I would NEVER do this again, people who did this were crazy, and what was I thinking??? (Brian calls that crazy tired runner talk and doesn't listen to that:). I somehow managed to walk/run to mile 9 and FINALLY saw Brian and the kids. I.was.done. I immediately went to them and had an asthma attack (and for the first time in my life thought I was going to die because I could NOT breathe). I was FREEZING and white as a sheet (according to Brian). I got in the van, sat down, finally was able to breathe again, and Brian was ready to take me to the hospital.
I saw a TON of people running by and couldn't believe I was done! I just wanted to get in the van and drive home to Raleigh. I was so mad, sad, embarrassed, angry, etc. I had run 10, 11, 12 miles before with no problem and I pooped out at 7 miles?? What in the world! Brian kept reminding me that I didn't 'give up' but was sick and for some reason had heat exhaustion (even though it was cool and I had fluids). My family (and friends) always tell me I'm way too hard on myself...but I can't help thinking there was something I could have done differently...no matter how many times people keep saying I was sick.
Back up to the week leading up to this point. Antibiotics have a nasty side effect that apparently didn't help me keep fluids down. And the night before I spent an hour going to the bathroom...thanks to the antibiotics. HOWEVER, I naturally drink tons of water and was hoping that would keep me hydrated. Brian thinks this was part of why things went so badly for me.
I don't know what came over me or how I got out of the van but I somehow decided I was going to finish. I just kept looking at the kids sitting behind me in the van (through my tears) and couldn't get over the fact that I was quitting (no matter how many times Brian said I wasn't quitting but I was sick and needed medical attention.) I had four miles to go and Cailey said, "I'll walk with you mommy...please let me go with you" (which still makes me cry) and I was tempted to let her do it but she had on jeans and flip flops...plus I was hoping I would be able to run some and knew she had never done four miles. Brian didn't want me to do it because he was afraid I'd pass out somewhere.
I got out of the van and started running and said, "can't you meet me somewhere else in case I can't do it?" He couldn't because of roads being closed off. The second he drove away I turned and ran towards him hoping he'd turn around and see me...and come get me. I wanted to be done. I couldn't IMAGINE walking the last four miles. (Which thinking about now seems like no big deal but in the moment made me think I'd come in last or throw up more...or worse.)
The 9th mile was hard...but I somehow did it. None my "tricks" worked. (Run for one song or run for 4 minutes, or 1 minute, or to that sign, etc.) Nothing. I'd start running and just couldn't do it. I felt awful...legs hurt, stomach hurt, but most of all I just couldn't breathe. I wasn't trying to go too fast, I just think the humidity plus my asthma were just getting the best of me.
I was literally thinking about my blog post while 'running' aka ralking this mile. I was gonna call it rollerblading and 1/2 marathons. I went rollerblading with Laura in college and it was fun until we went down a hill. We both decided (that day) that it was fun once but we'd never do it again. That's what I thought about the 1/2 marathon. It wasn't fun...but I was never doing it again either. EVER. (Again with the tired crazy runner thoughts)
My music (and the people around me...and behind me) helped me get through miles 10 and 11. Somehow they seemed not so bad...but I continued to mostly walk with a little running thrown in. According to friends I'm pretty competitive, yet somehow seeing TONS of people run past me didn't help either! (Brian says it's because I was sick but somehow I still can't get that in my head.)
Mile 12 to 13.1 was awful. I saw Brian and the kids right around mile 12 and knew I was almost there. Then Molly and Deanna appeared and walked/ran with me a little before having to go. The last mile (even for Beth and Kelly) was CRAZY the way it was set up and I probably didn't even run a whole minute of it. I just couldn't. I was embarrassed and ashamed as I came up on the finish line. I don't know why. There were TONS of people who finished after me...but I think it's because MY goal was to not walk. And I failed BIG time. (This is where Brian wants to knock me upside the head and REmind me that there was CLEARLY nothing I could have done differently.) Everyone was waiting for me. They had to wait so long...but they were all waiting. I was just so glad it was done. Brian was beyond proud of me for finishing because he knew how bad off I was.
Kelly thought I had quit and didn't know if I was going to finish until she came in and saw Brian without me. Beth didn't know either...even when she saw me. I told them what happened and she said, "where's your medal...put it on!!" I still feel so undeserving... because I didn't make 'my' goal. I know that there were tons of people who finished after me...who did exactly what they set out to do. But for me..I just feel like I didn't do it. I would not and can not tell my family and friends that I ran a 1/2 marathon because in my mind I didn't.
Everyone was happy to see me and SO encouraging (even Katy who reminded me that I'm in 25% of the population by even finishing it). The kiddos kept saying how happy and proud they were. I told them I did it for them. I wanted them to see that no matter what you start you should finish it....even if you have to 'walk'. Brian keeps telling me how proud he is...and says he's gonna say it until I believe it.
Brandon's mom reminded me that God got me through...and boy did He! I prayed so much of the way for strength and endurance.
kelly and i set out to run this race together
and boy was i glad to be DONE!
my biggest cheerleaders and supporters!
beth was there on a girl weekend with her friend, katy, but we were able to see her at the starting line and finish line. SO great to know that we were all doing it together! we trained together on most of our runs and beth (and katy) are the people who got us all running!
I left everyone saying I would N.E.V.E.R. do this again.
molly and deanna ran the race with us too but finished WAY before any of us so i don't have pics of us at the finish line. molly ran with us on most of our training runs even though i tease her and tell her she could run backwards and spin around and still beat us! she was always so sweet to run at our pace even knowing that she could go SO much faster...that's a true friend! after the race we all went out to lunch together.
my stomach still hurt most of the day but i told everyone i was gonna eat so much CHEESE after the race. my friend, Karen, joked that i was gonna only want fruit and she was right! all i wanted was cantaloupe and watermelon...NOT cheese:). my stomach hurt most of the day and that weird 'sharp cramp' is still hurting me.
i've gotten a couple of black toe nails since i started training for this 1/2 but this one is my worst. anyone who knows me is SHOCKED i would continue doing something that causes me to be in pain!
I expected to not hurt today since I did so much walking and didn't ache yesterday but woke up in so much pain! EVERYTHING hurts..my stomach, back, shoulders, quads, hamstrings, butt, and calves. My guess on the stomach and back would be because of the throwing up.
Oh...and right after my shower yesterday (not sure what came over me) I told Kelly that I was ready to sign up for another race. Brandon couldn't believe it, Brian laughed and said he knew it was 'crazy hurting runner talk' earlier and Kelly was just surprised. I had told her earlier that I would train with her but NEVER race this far again. Ha! Amazing how I suddenly felt ready to do another one. Hopefully next time I can redeem myself and take the lessons I learned from this one.
Last night I was talking to Brian and told him I felt like a loser. I didn't know Cailey (who should have been in bed) heard me. She ran in, hugged me, and said, "mommy...you're not a loser....you finished!" She'll never know how much that meant...
Oh...and right after my shower yesterday (not sure what came over me) I told Kelly that I was ready to sign up for another race. Brandon couldn't believe it, Brian laughed and said he knew it was 'crazy hurting runner talk' earlier and Kelly was just surprised. I had told her earlier that I would train with her but NEVER race this far again. Ha! Amazing how I suddenly felt ready to do another one. Hopefully next time I can redeem myself and take the lessons I learned from this one.
Last night I was talking to Brian and told him I felt like a loser. I didn't know Cailey (who should have been in bed) heard me. She ran in, hugged me, and said, "mommy...you're not a loser....you finished!" She'll never know how much that meant...
3 comments:
I am so proud of you my friend!! I can't even run 1/4 of a mile and you ran so many even when you weren't 100%! And then you still finished in spite of your health! I am so proud of you and am encouraged by your strength and amazing commitment!
LOVE YOU BUNCHES!
Thanks for "cheering" for me and my post from tonight. I am in awe of you and anyone else who runs. Amazing. I know you did not meet your goal, but what you did was still so huge. Way to go!
You are a winner in my book! Love you....
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