....till it's gone

After my 5k in June I spent the summer doing my best to keep up the running in the heat and averaged about 10-12 miles a week. It was SO hard for me to run even in the early morning. I wasn't dealing well with the humidity at all but didn't want to give it up.

Beth decided that she was going to run a 1/2 marathon in November and asked if I wanted to join her. At that point the most I had EVER run was 3 miles so I thought there was no way I could do it. I still asked her to send me the training schedule and said that I'd follow the schedule and take one run at a time.

We started training in late July with a midnight 4 mile run on treadmills in a very HOT room...but I did it. That was very encouraging to me! I ran by myself during the week and we'd do our 'long runs' together on Saturday mornings...at 5:30! I did the 5 (after only running a 4 mile one time)for a couple of weeks, then 6, and 7...every week thinking there was NO WAY I'd be able to do it. BUT I kept on training with the attitude of taking one run at a time.

The day of the 8 mile run wasn't such a great one, I had a TERRIBLE time breathing and walk/ran the rest after 6.5 miles. After that I went the dr. for all sorts of tests, ekg, etc, and was diagnosed with exercise induced asthma. I was pretty surprised because I'd been running for a while at that point but never had a problem unless I went over 5 miles. Anyway, so I got an inhaler and kept on running. I did the 9, and then the 10 mile run....craziness! I NEVER thought I'd be able to do this...let me just say that if I can do it than ANYONE can. I had finally signed up for the 1/2 marathon but still didn't believe I'd be able to do it...and by do it I mean run the entire time without walking. I was still taking 'one run at a time' but had to sign up because the race was almost full.

then.i.got.mono.

I never realized how badly I wanted to run that race or even run at all until it was taken away. I haven't run in over a week. I haven't taken that much time off since I started running. I had been doing over 20 miles a week...and now nothing. I'm so disappointed and afraid that I won't be able to run again. I don't want to get out of shape and have to build up my cardio again. I don't want my legs to get weak again. This is such a 'mind game' for me and I finally felt like I was winning the game. I was running 5 miles by myself during the week..and 3...and 4.... and then my long run with Beth (without her there is NO WAY I could have done it!) I'm so bummed!

I guess the main reason for writing this post is so I can remember how much I came to love running. How I CHOSE to get up EVERY Saturday morning at 5:00am to RUN so I could make it to Cailey's soccer games by 8:00.

I know I can run another race and it could be MUCH worse than mono but I am still annoyed at the whole thing. Because of this I did learn that I LOVE TO RUN! I NEVER thought those words would come out of my mouth, but I do. It's not easy. Even 3 miles can be hard some days. I don't have many 'easy' runs. BUT I get them done and go out for another run again and again...so I must love it:)!

Hopefully I'll be able to rest enough and get back my strength so I can run again.