Friday, June 19, 2009

Inevitable.

I knew it was going to happen someday....and have dreaded the moment. I know the purpose of parenthood is to raise responsible adults...to let go. I've always been the mom who 'dreaded' their birthdays because it meant they were getting older...growing up...needing me less. I've always played with them and tried to soak it all in because I know how quickly time goes by. I LOVE my children with my whole heart and even though there are 'tough times' I can honestly say that I've loved every stage. (Well...except for those first three months with Cailey...I wouldn't ask for that time back:)

One thing that Cailey does EVERY year the day or two after her birthday is say, "I'm almost 7" (or one year older than she just turned). I always tell her to SLOW down and not rush it:)!! Now Kinsey and Braden do the same thing...5 and 1/4, 3 and 1/2, 6 and 3/4. They can't wait to grow up...I remember being the same way...wishing time away so I could be older. Now I'm wanting it to slow down!

I guess it was hard seeing Cailey go off to Kindergarten but this year she was homeschooled so I had the blessing of seeing her grow each and every day...all day. The blessing of teaching her every day....all day. She was involved in many outside activities but when she was at home it was 'our time' and I loved it:)!! Playing games, reading books, doing puzzles, making crafts, baking, praying, all day.

Today we went to the pool and it suddenly hit me as I spent all my time with Kinsey (because Braden is at Nonny and Poppy's house)...my girl is GROWING UP and LETTING GO. I know it's time...but it's KILLING ME! She spent the day making friends and spent her time at the pool with people I didn't know. Little girls, just like her who are learning to let go and swim away from parents to learn and grow from each other. She's always wanted ME to play with her in the pool...the whole time...but is starting to let go. As I write this I'm tearing up because even though I WANT her to make friends and WANT her to break free, she's my baby. I guess she'll always be my baby...they all will.

I do realize that she's still six (and three quarters, as she would say) and isn't exactly getting her drivers license tomorrow...but today was eye opening to me that time is truly flying by and she's letting go...as God intended. Time will continue to fly by each year...and they'll continue to let go....I just pray that they will love the Lord and desire to do His will...in everything.
I LOVE YOU, Cailey, Kinsey, and Braden!!!!

3 comments:

Janet said...

I SO know what you mean! This week all three of my kids were at music camp and oh how I thought it would be SO much fun to do whatever I wanted. Granted...I had a little fun (Brian might say too much fun in the shopping department), but I just couldn't wait to have my kids back and have this week - of them being away each morning - done with. Heather, we are so INCREDIBLY BLESSED to have them home each and every day. Time is flying by too fast! :)

anthonyandbeth said...

this made me tear up! it's so hard to see them grow up but you're doing such a great job with them Heather! all your hard work and quality time is paying off! i must confess, i do have dreams of laying out by the pool while all the kids are playing and in no danger of drowning. :) but i'm sure i'll miss "this" stage once i'm to "that" stage. :) hope you have fun with your kids at your mom's this week!

McLeod Family said...

Heather,

So true...I feel that way about my kids. Especially my oldest she is getting so big and so independent. I guess it is bitter sweet but mostly bitter :)

You are such a good Mom and you encourage me to be such a better Mom just reading your blog! Thanks for being a "light" in this dark world!