one month.

One Month. That's how much time we have to get on our knees and pray for a MIRACLE. The countdown has begun since Monday was day 1....which means today is day 4.

Braden's new infiltrations are completely different than the ones before, meaning they are located in new places on the cornea. Basically as soon as he stopped the meds they 'grew'. Today there was no improvement but it didn't get worse either (for the first time in 3 days). They are keeping him on all of the medicine for one month. Then they'll take him off and we will pray, pray, pray that it doesn't come back. So far the cultures haven't grown anything (insert frustrated sigh) so they still don't know what it is.

We were told today that the next step....would involve an operating room and a biopsy of the cornea. Oh, a mama's heart. So I'm praying. Praying that God would heal my boy so he can focus on fun things and reading and LEGOS without having to worry about drops, pills, long car rides, and appointments. MOST of all that he won't have to get surgery!

He's hanging in there...but still very tired. Today he was supposed to have a playdate and later go to the Y for a fun class but thanks to school (which didn't get started for him until 11:30...after his apt) and exhaustion he didn't do either.

Once this infection is finally gone (YES...I AM believing that it will be), his cornea will basically make his vision seem like it "smudges on a mirror." Since he's so young the doctor thinks that it won't affect him long term in having to get a cornea transplant (YAY!) His vision will never be perfect in that eye even with glasses because of it, though. He will be able to see...just not perfectly.

Warning...this is where I "verbally" throw up everything that's going on in my brain. Please feel free to ignore.

Tomorrow is crazy.

Brian to work super early (he's trying to make up the hours he's missed by working early and late), Watch my sweet Alex 8:30-?, First Co op 9-12, first AHG for the girls 1-3, 2:00 apt at Duke for Braden (though we begged to wait until Saturday b/c of our crazy day tomorrow but they NEED to see him daily at this point...sigh), Somehow bring Braden to Brian at work... in between and pick up the girls in time while Brian takes him to his apt., ephram nap in the car?, give alex back at some point?, soccer practice for the girls 5:30-7:30...then CRASH. It will work out.

It always does.

Today I was totally overwhelmed and turned into an ostrich. I literally pulled a pillow over my head after talking to Brian about Braden's appointment and told Cailey that I was going to sleep and when I woke up everything would go back to "normal"

My smart big girl graciously reminded me that I'm not a princess in a fairytale so even if I go to sleep all the 'stuff' will still be here. sigh. so true. I'm TRYING to be a good example of belief, and happy/happy, joy/joy...but today it was hard. I was not a good example of strength. I was physically exhausted and ignored all the pressing matters I need to get to. (EX. typing directions to everywhere so mom can take the kids where they need to go...do extra school...prep...etc.) I played with my children, and taught them, but I let them watch a movie (sharp inhale!)...of course it started with D though:). And I did play in the dirt with dinosaurs, dump trucks, doggies, and dozers, and I laid on a blanket with the kids to look at the gorgeous blue sky...but I was not an example of peace and strength.

There is so much I have to do and just going on in general that I feel like I did nothing the NEEDED to be done. NOTHING. Well...I did end up getting prepped for teaching preschool tomorrow. And I did finally ask for help for when we're out of town so my very sweet friend is going to take the girls to soccer practice which means mom will only have to get them to their games. And in case I don't make it in time to pick the girls up tomorrow this same friend has offered to bring them home.

Asking for help is not my strength...but I do LOVE to help others.

I have no problem asking for prayer, though...so please join us in praying for sweet Braden!!

Oh...got more requests for our address so here it is again:

Braden Barbour
2369 Declaration Dr
Raleigh, NC 27615